Los Angeles fashion blogger, RELish By Arielle wears an ASOS metallic dress

Hello 2020! Halfway through January, I’ve finally gotten my act together enough to share my new year’s resolutions with you.  My hands have been so full with Sadie and Naiya over the past few months, the days keep melting away. Trying to savor all of the cuddles while not beating myself up too much about not being as productive as usual. After all, having the chance to sit behind my computer to type or get anything done for that matter has been so much more difficult than it was with only one baby! Mamas, can you relate? Excited to round up my top 5 new year’s resolutions below in hopes  that in writing them down, I’ll actually be able to continue sticking to them. Hoping that in sharing them, they’ll inspire you too. 

Los Angeles blogger, RELish By Arielle shares New Year's resolutions she's still sticking to Los Angeles mom blogger, RELish By Arielle wears a metallic dress from ASOS

1) Live Only In The “Now”

I struggled to pin-point my first resolution for the year that didn’t sound too cliche but since this one feels like the biggest one I need to work on in 2020, cliche or not, here goes! As a generally anxious person, I tend to live primarily in the future. I’m constantly thinking about every possible outcome of any given situation–but especially in relation to work. I never want to drop the ball and let anyone down (including myself) so I’m constantly thinking about how to preemptively fix issues and over prepare. I do the same when it comes to my family life too.

My brain is constantly working in overtime and it’s become overwhelming. The craziest part is that there’s only a very small chance a lot of my anxieties will ever actually ring true. I realized in 2019 how exhausting this cycle of thinking is and how much I need to start quieting all the extra noise.

2020 is my year to do just that–intentionally. I’m going to dwell a lot more in the now and I’m going to stop wasting energy on my anxieties about the future.

How I’m Making A Change

In order to make it happen, I’m starting with truly unplugging after I put Naiya to sleep at night. I’m taking back my evenings to truly unwind mentally, snuggle Sadie, watch my favorite shows, write or just rest because with two kids and a full-time job, I need to do this for my own sanity! I’m also trying to get up earlier. Mornings are so much easier without a crazy rush out the door. This leaves me with less anxiety about my day overall. It gives me more time to live in the now and to be generally happier! Los Angeles mom blogger, RELish By Arielle wears a metallic dress from ASOS

2) Healthy Living Is Different As A Mama (And That’s OK!)

Before kids, I woke up every morning and ran 7 days a week–before work and on weekends. When I competed in triathlons throughout my 20’s, I often did two-a-day workouts where I’d also swim, bike or go to the gym at lunch or after work. I was so strong physically and this helped me mentally.

Working out continues to be a non-negotiable for me because it helps me to focus, get rid of extra energy and anxiety and it makes me feel so much better about everything (more about that here).

As a mom, though–especially as a mom of two girls under 2.5, working out is SO much harder. It’s only now that I can understand why so many people literally stop doing it. It’s such a commitment and it can affect time with your family if you don’t plan it out right.

How I’m Making A Change

This year, I’m going to stop beating myself up when I can’t work out as much as I used to. I’ll start thinking more about quality over quantity and be thankful that I get to do it at all. I definitely beat myself up a lot about this topic last year but it wasn’t productive.

I’m about to head back to work after a short maternity leave with Sadie and I need to find my new fitness normal. I’m thinking I’ll get up early and run with Naiya or Sadie like I did before this last pregnancy but it’s not going to be easy.  Between nursing Sadie and getting Naiya ready for school and out the door, I know it’s going to be crazy.

If I can’t run every day I want to, I’m going to give myself more grace this year. I’ll come up with new strategies–like at-home workouts to get me through. We’re all just doing the best we can and that’s all we can ask of ourselves. Los Angeles blogger, RELish By Arielle shares New Year's resolutions she's still sticking toLos Angeles blogger, RELish By Arielle shares New Year's resolutions she's still sticking to

3) Spend Time With More Mom Friends

This one is huge for me: since I had babies so close together and I work full-time, life over here has gotten more than a little crazy! One thing that has suffered are my relationships with girlfriends. I’ve done a good job of keeping in touch with them over the phone or through social media but actually nailing dates in person has not been my strongest suit. I was so sick this past pregnancy, just getting off the couch most weekend days felt like a huge accomplishment. Phil and I also had kids before a lot of our friends so I didn’t have a big mom network in place to turn to post-babies.

I didn’t join any mom groups with Naiya because we had a tough start with her (she had a lot of G.I. issues–more about that here) and I didn’t realize how helpful these groups could have been. That’s one of my biggest regrets from the first time around.

With Sadie, I have to go back to work a lot sooner but I’ve been able to join a group for a few weeks and have met some great mamas! I’m also loving the mamas from Naiya’s school! Surrounding myself with and growing a mama village is so helpful and vital.

How I’m Making A Change

This year, I’m going to make sure I carve out time on weekends for playdates with the kids and a lot more girl time. I didn’t realize how badly I needed this and how much I’ve been guilty of isolating myself until recently. 2020 is going to be about getting out there, meeting new people and being more social. 

4) Take It Easy On The Mom Guilt

In 2019, I struggled a lot with trying to do it all–trying to be the best mom and and girl boss all while I was super prego. I learned there’s such a give and take to both worlds and while you can have it all, some part of your life is always going to suffer at some point. Now that we have Sadie, going back to work feels even more terrifying than it did the first time around with Naiya. I miss my former self who could focus solely on the job at hand without too much extra responsibility outside the office.

But now, I have two tiny mouths to feed, entertain, love and inspire and I’ll never been the same girl again. And you know what? I’ve grown to like the mom version of me even better than the old me. That said, this shift has caused a lot of mom guilt to set in over the past couple of years because I want to do the best at work and at home but I always feel like I’m letting someone down.

How I’m Making A Change

This year, I’m going to stop beating myself up so much because I know I’m constantly doing the best I can. Hopefully my girls will be proud of me someday that I continued to reach for my goals even after they were born even though it meant I couldn’t be there 24/7.

I hope they know that my family was and always will be my top priority and that everything I do, I do for my family. Likewise, even though it’s all so much easier said than done, in 2020, I’m going to try to silence the mom guilt as much as I possibly can!

5) It’s Ok To Go More Basic

As a mama who gets uber-inspired by fashion, I’m going to try something new this year: going for basics. Over the new year, I cleaned out my closet and donated a bunch of clothing that was no longer bringing me joy. If we’re being honest, I went full Marie Kondo and probably would have kept going if I knew I’d have anything left in my closet at the end of my purging journey.

Post-two pregnancies, my wardrobe became a mixture of oversized maternity wear, some basics and then a bunch of outfits that no longer light me up.

How I’m Making A Change

I realized that the older I’m getting, the more I’m appreciating basics. They’re so easy, interchangeable, timeless and versatile. This year, rather than splurging on more unique or trendy items, I’m sticking to a capsule collection full of basics.

I’m loving basic tees, sweaters, denim, jackets, etc. Most of the clothing I kept from my purge fit this mold and this has brought me so much more joy!Los Angeles blogger, RELish By Arielle shares New Year's resolutions she's still sticking toLos Angeles Blogger, RELish By Arielle wears a pink metallic holiday dress from ASOS

What Are Your 2020 Resolutions?

Two weeks into the new year, are you still sticking to your resolutions? Did any of the above ideas speak to you? Tell me all the things in the comment section below! Happy 2020, everyone! We’ve got this!

Photography: Azusa Takano